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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Continued tolerance...

Working full time and coming home to yard work and maintaining the house, dirt track races on the weekend and much time spent on the river banks made things tolerable for me. I had become accustomed to insults, critism and constant belittling and passed my time working in the yard and playing with our beagle. Many times I had thought about leaving, but where was I going? I settled for what I had. I held onto every positive, happy moment in my life and accepted it. In my mind, he had made a vast improvement over the previous years and I loved living in the log house on the mountain ~ my serenity as much as it could be...

The log house was gorgeous and comforting, although the winters were cold and harsh, as it seemed every crack within the log walls allowed the cold air to chill our home. The logs were D shaped and had insulation strips between them. The woodstoves we had simply could not heat the entire home. The addition had a cathedral ceiling with tongue and groove and exposed beams and the heat loved to linger there.

Seemed as though things were falling into place, as much as they could with someone who was always in pain and constantly taking it out on me... but I was strong and endured... and appreciated what God had blessed me with...

11 comments:

Sarah said...

This is all so familiar to me..I m waiting to understand where you are now. How amazingly brave you are to tell your story...it will touch people, it will. Keep writing girl!!
Huge hugs, Sarah

Carrie said...

Carla~

I just wanted you to know that I have been reading your posts from today and that I am so sorry that you or anybody would of had to endure such heartache.Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Hugs!! Carrie♥

Country*Road*Primitives said...

Thank you Sarah... I will continue to share... Just stuck at how to incorporate all of the little things that happened into the flow of it all... xox Carla

Country*Road*Primitives said...

Thank you Carrie... Unfortunately, there are many, many women that have gone through much abuse and are still going through it... If I can change or touch the life of one abused person, then I have accomplished what I am attempting to do... xox Carla

Carrie said...

Carla~
I agree with Sarah. It is so brave of you to share your story. And like she also said, I am waiting to understand where you are at now.

I too, think that your story will touch SO many people. Probably, more than you can ever know. So, please continue to share it!!

Unfortunately, I know too well what the effect of an abusive relationship can have on people. So, please know that I am sending you a BIG hug!!!!!!!!

Carrie

Pam said...

Carla

I'm reading your story. wow. Hang in there my dear friend. Need to read on.

Hugs Pam

Country*Road*Primitives said...

LOL Pam... you know the end of my story :) xox

Michelle said...

I just found your blog today and am SO sorry to read about what you've been through. I hope and pray you are in a better place now!

nanny*goat*primitives said...

Sweet Carla,

I have tears running down my cheeks again. Wishing you love and happiness dear one.

Deanna

Theresa said...

Gosh Carla, that was a long time to stay with a abuser, how sad for you. Glad you are posting all your feelings. maybe it will help another to give hope. Thanks for posting. *huggs*

Susannah said...

So very enlightening.......anxious to read more. I hope you and the girls are okay and thriving now.

Susannah